|You can't see much, it's all scrunched up. It is a shawl though|
I have a thrilling new job, go me, where I have to dress in black, so I have been looking for black shoes. Because, at the moment I am wearing some very cool ankle boots for work which are covered in silver studs, but I am worried I am following the letter not the spirit of the dress code (I am so crap at dress codes. All my instincts are off). I don’t wear black normally and I don’t have many shoes (I have been wearing either Birkenstocks or Uggs for two and a half years, you can do this when you are self-employed) and let me tell you, going into Marks and Spencer to attempt to buy some was a bit of a shock. Now, I am not going to diss Marks and Spencer because I actually think it is ok, and also my mother will ring me up and tell me off, but I am going to say this. You know how Marks and Spencer do that special range where it is all polyester and blouses, and looks like the clothes they wore on Ever Decreasing Circles? Well, for some reason, the Marks and Spencer in Cambridge has got rid of all its stock to concentrate on that range, apart from some Jeggings which they have placed carefully in a corner. Polyester pleated skirts! (Not like the ones that sold out in Jigsaw!). And those extra-wide fitting black shoes which lace up and make you look as if you have bunions even when you don’t! Which look as if they’re expecting to be worn with American Tan tights! Where has the Limited Collection gone, hey hey, Cambridge Marks and Spencer? That is what I would like to know. Have we in Cambridge been judged and found wanting in a sartorial fashion? And if so, why is this, because I would like you to know that I myself have read Vogue at least within the last 6 months and know all about colourblocking.
Anyway because of this shock I failed categorically to buy shoes from a shop (I know there are other shops), although I have ordered some online which may or may not fit, so I will have to wear my dodgy studs for a little while longer. Luckily I managed to get some skin tight black trousers quite cheaply, so now it will look like a deliberate aesthetic choice, albeit not really an appropriate one. Does the dress code say, inspired by Ozzy Ozbourne albeit a few pounds heavier and with odd bits of leftover wool attached? I think until my new shoes arrive we may have to pretend that it does.