Saturday, 6 July 2013

Trapped in a loop

A while ago I went mad and made a batch of acrylic granny squares which I have arranged and rearranged into various permutations and not known what to do with. At one point I started making the most astonishing wrap you have ever seen, before I decided that even I would not wear such a wrap, and decided the best thing to do was to hide the granny squares in a cupboard where they could do no harm. However, as I cannot ever let anything just lie, I have dug them out again and I am making a blanket.
Draped attractively on the beanbag
Hooray, you may think. A sensible, functional blanket which will get a lot of use, and the white slightly tones down all those garish colours so it is not even all that ugly. What an excellent idea and now a line can be drawn under the whole granny square débacle.

Unfortunately not. Readers, I hate joining granny squares so much that I just left the ugliest ones out and didn't put them in. So there are (the ugliest!!) granny squares left over. No matter! I thought. After I have finished the white blanket, what I can do, is, I can group them in fours and do some kind of a pink border and get a blanket from that.
I wish to state again that I did not choose that carpet
Do you see how you get sucked in? Because then I will have to buy more acrylic to finish off the new blanket, and then I will have ends of acrylic left over, and I will think, gosh, what I should do is crochet some granny squares. As well as training for a 10K and having a social life and occasionally saying a word to Partner and being in the UKAPP thing. Indeed, I no longer realistically envision a life which does not have granny squares in it.

But wait, you say. There is a solution! Just stop. Do not crochet any more after the hideous pink joining-in-fours item. Throw the acrylic away or donate it to the cat shelter as the bags of acrylic you have got in your cupboard, even though it is soft and you like it very much, are not worth more than £1.49 all told: is there not a 12 Step programme for people like you, where you can admit your powerlessness in the face of using up bits? Well, if you were to say this, of course you would be right. I can stop. I can pledge never to crochet a granny square again. But unfortunately, even after the second blanket, I will have one left. One.
Currently kept in check by Mr Gonk. But he has to sleep sometimes, you know
And I do not trust it not to breed like a tribble. What can I do? Take it to the bank and put it in a vault? Throw it in the Cam? Frame it? I must work on my boundaries and my self-control!

(++ last night I ran 5km. 5km!!! Past every pub and drunk person in Cambridge, wearing a tie-dye tshirt and listening to Dolly Parton. I don't think they'll be inviting me onto the cover of Runner's World quite yet).


The Foggy Knitter said...

So now you're pole dancing 10k?

Declare the solitary square to be a really tiny blanket in its own right. Find something or someone really tiny to sleep under it. Problem solved.

Love all the bright colours.

Vivianne said...

Take the last square out somewhere and leave it on a bench randomly for someone to find. This works with books too :)

Karen said...

I think what is needed is a vest of granny squares! you'll only need a few more!
I was actually scarred for life by having to wear such a vest when I was in high school. IN THE 60'S! The fact that I remember at all is evidence that I was truly scarred.
(Except, really, I refused to wear it after my mother made it. The memory is strong because I keep asking myself, Why didn't I just wear it under my coat and remove it in a dark corner of the rest room? How hard would that have been?)
But today you could pull off such a thing. Wear it on cold runs?