Thursday, 13 January 2011

We are the village green preservation society

I was wandering into town earlier in the week and I happened upon a tree which seemed to have been singled out for special attention.
It may well be more attractive when it has its leaves on. Let us not judge
This is a tree in the middle of a common with many trees on it. I couldn’t quite understand what made this tree special, but it seemed a very popular one. Has it been targeted? Is the council after this particular scruffy-looking tree? I did google, but frankly I can't make head or tail of it.
Hugely controversial. Your guess is as good as mine. Go Valerie! Go Cressing Temple!
But then I thought more about Cambridge trees. And I’m feeling a bit smug now because we have, like, a million trees in our back garden. Well, not a million, more like, ooh, I don’t know, eight. Big ones. All this time I spend feeling bad about my trees, thinking, oh God I ought to get someone to go up a ladder and trim them a bit or whatever it is you do to trees, when all that time, I didn’t realise what I’d got.
Save all the trees! Look, there are some others in the background! Save them as well!
I've got a tree sanctuary! Yes! It’s just as morally impressive as having a donkey sanctuary, but a lot less trouble! And my trees give so much! I have a beautiful cherry tree that blooms in Spring, with great big pink flowers – a laburnum – a big apple tree – an elderflower bush – and big tall ones at the back that I don’t even know what they are. Every one of them more exciting and impressive than that scrotty old thing with the baubles on. And yet somebody (possibly a mad person, yes), loves that scrotty old thing enough to put baubles on it even though I wonder if just writing to the Cambridge Evening News in a non-mad fashion might be more effective. And I have never put a single bauble on any of the trees in my sanctuary! They must think I don’t care. So this is my pledge to my trees: you will always have a home with me, lads, (and lasses), and I will appreciate you more. I am not going climbing up you to put baubles anywhere because, you are pretty enough with your various blossomy events, but I will appreciate you silently.

You do need trimming, though. I wonder if I should get a quote, oh no :-(.


Marushka C. said...

Tree trimming sounds suspiciously like Home Improvement to me, Susie. You know how it goes ... you get a quote and the trimmer says, "And by the way, you should spray them to treat or prevent __insert name of bad thing here__" so you get a 2nd quote because the first one was too high, and the 2nd tree trimmer says, "Your fence is a disgrace and a danger to the common good. You should fix the fence too." By which time you are drinking twice as much wine after dinner and keeping the drapes closed so that you can't see the guilt-inducing trees.

(Sorry, still working on the whole tile/grout/why-not-just-renovate-the-entire-bathroom dilemma. It is making me bitter.)

Susie said...

Oh Marushka, I feel for you on the bathroom dilemma, I feel for you very much. One of the people who quoted for our bathroom wouldn't fit a shower unless we spent £500 on a new fusebox. Why not just rewire the entire house as well as fitting a new bathroom? ;-). Why not raze the house to the ground and start again? (I speak of our house here, because razing sometimes feels like a good option!).

And coincidentally our fence is indeed a disgrace and a danger to the common good and I am going to get fence quotes next week, or I may just lie down on the floor waving my legs about shouting, everyone come and take all my money.

Wool Free and Lovin' Knit said...

Perhaps you could knit lovely giant scarves for your trees? Our poor trees here in Boston are cracking under the weight of all the recent snow -- it's that old parable of the final flake that broke the old tree's back!

Mumma Troll said...

I'm very jealous of your trees, I haven't got room for trees, boo. I have a few small trees, so small in fact they are nothing more than overgrown bushes, so I am glad to hear that you will love and cherish your trees and it looks like you have some very useful ones too. Your Cherry tree, mmm food, your Elderberry,mmm food and your laburnum,mmm poison (for anyone who upsets you), Hehehehe.

Denise said...

I'm really envious of your yard and trees. All we have here is mostly palms and mesquite trees. Great for grilling, mesquite is really pretty nasty as it drops this nasty tarrish sap as you walk under in the summer.