Tuesday, 1 November 2011

Garden Improvements. Do not do it

OK. Do you remember my advice about home improvements, i.e. do not do it? Well, I am now going to expand that advice to garden improvements as well and in fact I am forced to make it more emphatic. Today a man came and laid a base for a shed and found two hand grenades. I have had a policeman, the bomb squad, and two reporters from the local paper doorstepping me. They (the bomb squad) had their sandbags ready and were going to do a controlled explosion, but luckily they were able to x-ray my grenades with their equipment and they were dummies which you use for training. Why would there be dummy hand grenades in my garden? Was it in former times a hangout for Dad’s Army? What in God’s name will I find next? So now I am nervous of engaging with Hard Landscaping, and feel that the black squirrel is the least of my worries (he was watching. He was fascinated).

On the bright side, I cast on a sock. The policeman remarked that it would be very useful for winter, which indeed it will be, and it is to his credit that he did not say, look at you, knitting through bomb squad manoeuvres.

15 comments:

The Gingerbread Lady said...

Eeek, Susie! Talk about living dangerously ... Seriously, I believe that anything even vaguely on the home improvement radar should be avoided like the plague. And this post has just proved it once again.

GirlAnachronismE said...

Wow, exciting afternoon!

Ozzy Blackbeard said...

Sweet child of mine!!! The Bomb Squad!!! :O Are you by any chance of Irish descent? I ask because knitting a sock during a bomb scare is exactly like something that would happen here in Belfast!! Hope you're ok.

mooncalf said...

And there are no pictures??!!! No!!!!

mooncalf said...

I should add that that was a joke.

I don't really expect you to say "Hang on. Don't de-fuse it yet. I have to grab my camera! mooncalf will want to see this."

Marushka C. said...

I'm glad to see you take the "keep calm and cast on" advice seriously! It will definitely be a sock with a story to tell, won't it?

kristieinbc said...

Oh. My. That is incredible! Did the police have any idea how old the grenades were? I wonder if they could send someone over with a metal detector to see if there are any others buried under your soil. It doesn't make digging in the garden sound very inviting.

Susie said...

Ha! Pics or it didn't happen! ;-).
http://www.cambridge-news.co.uk/Home/Moment-of-terror-after-gardener-finds-grenades-02112011.htm
I would like to just state that the gardener was not, actually, terrified and in fact I feel that gardener has missed his vocation as a mine clearer or similar.

But I am *this close* to giving up on home improvements. House. You are on notice. Stop being naughty.

Nearly done the cuff of that sock, though.

Susie said...

And Mooncalf, I actually did have my camera in my pocket when I was showing the policeman the grenades. However, it turns out that grenades are Very Serious Business and I thought he might not have been very pleased if I had whipped it out to take photos for my blog...

Sharripie said...

This happened to my friend, Jamie, last summer in Athens, GA. She actually did take pictures of the police department's bomb robot handling the situation. It was her husband who found it, and she said he nearly had a coronary over it. Very scary, indeed. Glad you're safe.

Alittlebitsheepish said...

That sounds like very exciting gardening. I am secretly wishing my gardening was more exciting and less sad looking tomatoes

Wool Free and Lovin' Knit said...

I thought that you got off very easy -- I mean , really, who's to say they aren't YOUR bombs and that you aren't planning the next local bombing? I'm sure it was the knitting that made them see you in a more innocent light. Lucky thing you had that sock on the needles!

Denise said...

Wow, I've been thinking about putting an electric fence around my garden.

Too bad they took them away for examination. Since their dummies, I would want them for a souvenir. I'm crazy like that.

Good thing they weren't real and gone off while the gardener was hammering the concrete.

Vivianne said...

LMAO how very Blitz-mentality of you ..keep calm and carry on knitting ! LOL

starjump arts said...

Good grief - all we found when we took up our old shed base was about 53 frogs, who all hopped off in different directions - and we thought that was exciting!