|And we had to take our time selecting 'the one with the bushiest tail'|
Partner: Is it supposed to be a testicle?
Me (gritted teeth): No. It’s a furry ball. It’s an ironic take on the Christmas bauble. It’s from Habitat.
Partner: Only I thought, you know trees are phallic symbols, so I thought you were decorating it with testicles.
Me: It isn’t a testicle. (doubtfully). It’s modern. It’s fashionable.
I think I am just not very good at trees. But the brush cat and the testicles (there are three) honestly pale in comparison to Naked Santa. I actually am a bit ashamed of Naked Santa who Partner bought from Woolworths one year when I was too tired to do Christmas (aaand that was my first mistake). I can’t imagine how Naked Santa got through the planning meetings (‘we’ve got a new design! It’s Santa, but he’s kind of like crossed with a cherub, so he’s naked with a winning expression, but it’s OK! His beard covers everything!’).
|And this, in a nutshell, is why Woolworths closed|
|Now there's a sophisticated Christmas ornament|