Sunday, 8 July 2012

Novel update and bored of the rain

God. What a month it has been. I have been dealing with my Difficult Situation, and there have been tears, laughter, glittery cupcakes and banging of heads against walls, but, I would now like to declare OFFICIALLY that I am (cautiously) back in the land of the living, and I would like to update you on my novel. I have gone through, rewritten bits and checked the spelling, and I have it now as a pdf and a word document which I am going to make a start at trying to upload to something or other tomorrow. As I do not know entirely what I am doing and how successful this is going to be (or indeed how long it is going to take…), I thought I would say that, in the meantime, if anyone just wants me to send them the pdf (obvs free of charge, indeed I should probably be paying you…), then email me at uselessbeautydesigns [at], and I will email you back with the pdf attached.

Remember: no matter how bad this book is, I guarantee you it is inner-goddess free. And no-one, at any point, ever says ‘Oh my!’ when confronted with bdsm paraphernalia. These things I promise you. And although it starts off a bit slow, if you can get through a few chapters it starts to pick up a bit, and, if you can get through the whole thing, then you will know who the characters are and be able to read number two, which is better. I bet I’ve sold you on it, haven’t I? I’ll wait for the flood of emails. (It’s alright, that’s self-aware irony).

I think it has now rained in Cambridge every day for three months. Every single day! And our front door is swollen and we cannot open it, so every time I leave the house I have to walk through the back garden, and fight all the greenery, which is overgrown, because I cannot get out to trim it, because it has rained EVERY SINGLE DAY FOR THREE MONTHS. I am very bored now of the rain, and would like to request some sunshine, please, although Partner says there will be no sunshine for another three years, as actually we are in year three of a strange six-year weather cycle, and he knows this because he heard someone say it on the cricket. Luckily, I have decided not to listen to Partner, and I decided not to listen to him anymore even before he told me that my hair made me look like the albino monk from the Da Vinci Code. But I still wish we could have some sunshine. Please?


Georgina said...

It is definitely time for the rain to stop. We were a bit concerned for the Olympic torch but they had obviously considered the "What are the chances it will rain in England in the summer time?" question.

The Foggy Knitter said...

I had an "I'm sick of the rain" moment earlier and actually started yelling at the sky. It's making me start to lose it a bit, I think I need to do some baking. Your Cambridge cat mafia can't be enjoying the weather either.

Vivianne said...

The chap that plays the albino monk also plays Dr.Maturin in 'Master & Commander'. Apropos of nothing :-)

The Part Time Smallholder said...

Gah! Tell me about it. My SAD is sending me quite loopy and if we don't have some summer before the winter I will be positively insane by spring.

Can't even bake because I am on a diet. Have taken up dressmaking thorugh, because that is somehting you can do when it is wet, so scouring your blog for inspiration.

If it is any consolation our grass is so long that I loose the dog every time I let her out.