I know it's been done. But. 40 before 40!!!

I'm back.

We did not eat them. You have to know what you are doing

I've been to Derbyshire where I've been roaming about looking at woods like a good pagan.

I also made that quilt and that cushion and painted that table. Go me

I've been knitting like a fiend as well, but I keep giving things away and forgetting to take photos, so photos will have to wait, although, I do have this one of my new crocheted throw I shared a while ago on Facebook (so sorry for duplication, anyone who's on my FB). I've woven in the ends now. I'm on fire!

I wander past this every day clutching my glass of water

And I've been wandering about taking pictures of Sexy Urban Art. The second one is actually on the wall of the stairway in my office. Never (says she, violins swelling) in all my time in the voluntary sector have I ever worked in a building that is not mad and has normal facilities, except for one time when I was at e-space in Littleport and we had things like carpet and sofas, it was utterly disorientating. And I was utterly miserable. So that just shows you.

He is my big fat lad. Oh bloody hell Alfie, go home!

Dan my brother has found this lost cat sign for you and I have taken a photo. I think the cat was called Alfie. Don't look at this picture if you are having a bad day as honestly Dan and I were just emotionally stricken to the core in the middle of a rainy street in Derbyshire in our waxed jackets and woolly hats. Partner says the cat has probably just gone next door and no-one needs to worry. But we need an update! Like with Mabel!

From my new office which I am going to manage. O but how can I do both?! It is the classic double bind which leads to psychological confusion

Now I share with you the hideously naff thing I have done. Over the last year or so {clears throat}, one of the things I did was to try to scare myself and do things I would not normally have done with a view to expanding my horizons. I recommend this approach to you very highly: I had a great time. I mean, I'm not saying I set the world on fire, but I did things like the pole competition, oil painting, fan dancing, bleaching my hair, trying physical theatre etc etc. It was interesting because I always felt like I ought to be an introverted, studious kind of person, but actually when I really sat down and thought about things I was interested in doing none of them were studious or academic at all. I mean, I'm certainly not saying this is good, but, you know, self-knowledge is a wonderful thing and if it turns out that what I'm actually interested in is anything that creates a huge mess or where you flap about and have everyone looking at you then there's no point me pretending that I want to sit in a library translating Sanskrit. Anyway, to the hideously naff thing. I am 39 on my next birthday (soon) and then I will be 40 and that is a milestone. So I am creating a list of 40 things to do before I am 40.

I know it is overdone. I know it is counterproductive. I know it is naff. But I am inspired by a woman I read about in the Derbyshire Times. We were particularly charmed by her intention to massage Bernie Clifton. I would like to state at this point that I have actually met Bernie Clifton, and there is a photo extant of us together which my mother would probably email me if I asked her nicely. But I am not putting him on my list (although he is perfectly nice. Don't feel rejected, Bernie, I'm happy to massage you if you're ever in Cambridge, although I'd probably rather just buy you a coffee). So I shall finalise my list and then I will consider if I want to share it. I will consider.

Anyway, sorry to be away so long! Grit your collective teeth for the random thoughts to come...

Another good thing

This is a daft one.

So, the other day I did my first 10K. I didn't do a race, I measured it with my GPS watch thing. Dan (brother) was doing a 4.8 mile fell run in Derbyshire and, because Dan is my Running Inspiration, when he does a race I sometimes do the same distance here out of solidarity. (Because I am codependent). Anyway 4.8 miles is as far as I have ever managed hitherto, but, when I had run that far (7.7K) I decided I would just carry on and do my first 10K and so I did, and that is pretty much all I have achieved this weekend. Anyway, I was very proud, but, when I did my run this morning I was just knackered as you can imagine, and gave up after about 25 minutes and staggered home.

On the street behind our house lives the Worst Black Cat in Cambridge. I have blogged about this animal before and how it waylays people and weaves around people's feet, putting its nose in their shopping, and how you cannot walk past it without stopping for petting and homage, however busy you are. Anyway, Partner had remarked to me recently that he had not seen Bad Black Cat for a while and we hoped it was ok. But, today, as I staggered home, next door to Bad Black Cat's house was a notice on a lamppost - missing cat! Bad Black Cat had disappeared! I learned that Bad Black Cat is a she, is called Mabel, is 5.4kg, will not wear a collar but has been chipped, and has a line of white hairs underneath which is only visible when she rolls over. And has been missing since July. So I was really sad, because who knows what had happened to Bad Mabel, and I remained sad until I got to the second notice on a tree this time, where I saw what I had missed the first time: someone had updated all the notices with FOUND NOW!!!! across the picture of Mabel!

Which seemed very sweet. Because, not only is Mabel reinstalled in her nice house where she won't wear a collar and no doubt is into everything, but, instead of just taking the posters down, whoever had put them up had wanted to update people so they didn't worry about Mabel. So they had gone to every poster - there was one on each tree, and let me tell you, there are a lot of trees on that street - and they had altered them all carefully with a biro. Who says people have no sense of community obligation? I wish everyone updated posters, because I often wonder about Lost Cats (Partner has never forgotten one called Genghis, who had a single very visible fang. What happened to Genghis? Did he meet an untimely end or is he now living in the Master's Lodge at Trinity? You never know).

And now when Bad Black Cat wants to look in my shopping, I know her name, and I will be able to say firmly, No, Mabel, Not For You. And I am sure that will work very effectively...

A Nice Man

Last night Partner and I met his mother for dinner, who told me that this is a terrible world with a lot of terrible people in it and she cannot bear to be a part of it, because of all the terrible horrible people doing awful things all the time. She told me this more than once. I did not say to her, have any of these terrible awful people ever a/ screamed at you that you were a 'trollop' in the middle of a Wetherspoons pub b/ tried to have you thrown out of accident and emergency during a family member's last illness and then ostracised at the funeral c/ written you long mad letters detailing the members of your family you have personally killed through your innate badness and individual neglect? Because, they would indeed be quite mean things to do to someone, and I do not think either of us needs to look far to see someone who has done them and who they have done them to. Anyway I did not say that, I smiled in a slightly vacant way and I nodded noncommittally at the Badness Of The World.

Anyway today I took my watch to a jeweller to see if he would repair it. It is a gold rotary watch which mum bought me for my 18th, and the clips that hold on one side of the strap had worked loose and just needed squeezing back together. I did not want to do it myself because I thought I would probably break it and I have seen similar watches on ebay for £400, so clearly I could never replace this watch and indeed I am at the point where I cannot afford my own possessions. Anyway he did it for me straight away, looked at it carefully through his little glass, and did the other side as well, where I had not noticed that it was also loose. And then he refused to charge me! And blushed and looked embarrassed when I told him how kind that was. I mean, I know it wasn't a big job, but I certainly wasn't expecting him to do it for free, and I was grateful.

So I collect evidence of things in this world that are not terrible and awful, and that man can be Exhibit 1. As my own departed Nana Bessie used to say, it is good for you to count your blessings. I would not have put it past Nana Bessie, to be honest, to be calling people trollops in pubs, but I think she would certainly not have bothered with long mad accusatory letters hand-delivered in secret over a period of years. She would have put on her powder, lipstick, rhinestone earrings and Estee Lauder's Youth Dew, and she would have gone out to Bingo, at which she might well have won a mixed grill, or, on one memorable occasion, an imperfectly-plucked turkey which we had to finish off at home. And I think there's a lesson there for all of us.

(Never take home an unplucked turkey - the feathers get everywhere. Make someone else pluck it first!)

Retro prints

Came home from work, ate biscuits, watched The Real Housewives Of Beverley Hills, fell asleep, made a cushion

I ran 8k at the weekend and I think it has killed me

love a retro pattern, I do

sat in garden, did ironing, failed to add anything to in-progress oil painting

It's a skyline. Or, it will be

drank tea, ate more biscuits, emailed friend to see if he has completed on his flat yet because it has been an exciting saga. Now am off to make dinner (lentil curry).

I am tired and unproductive but tomorrow I will be livelier. (Until I have the root canal done. I am seeing the hygienist first which means I will have to have my mouth open for over an hour. I feel this is a situation in which you can probably provide your own joke, so I will leave you to do so).

Possibly a bargain

I'm selling everything I own on ebay again because a/ I've got too much stuff and yarn breeds like Tribbles b/ I've got my eye on a pink cardigan from Boden. I've just listed a grab bag of leftovers of lace yarn which might be interesting to someone - if it goes for 99p that's only £4 (including postage) you've spent to make at least 3 shawls and possibly more! That's £1.33 a shawl! And it's still better than it sitting in my cupboard! So just in case anyone wants to make 3 shawls - and possibly more! for £1.33 a pop and doesn't mind not winding the yarn themselves (!!), this is the listing. (God isn't listing on ebay tiring! I am thinking of my empty cupboard. Thinking of my empty cupboard...)

Also, I have to have a root canal replaced on Tuesday (I know. Just don't). Last night I dreamt that I went to the appointment and the dentist tried to turn me into a vampire. Is this a prophetic dream and a warning? It is only recently that I drew the Death card in tarot. Perhaps I should be worried...

Window decorations

This is a window between where I work and the Norfolk Street Deli, which is where I go to get my sandwich at lunchtime.

How shall we make our house look attractive? I know...

In many ways I think it is admirable that the people who live in this house have made a little display for people to admire who walk past. In other ways I secretly feel that spider will escape its case (and escape the fact that it is dead), jump through the glass, and get me by the throat. I still walk past to get my falafel. But I will not pretend I am not secretly nervous...

Go me not buying wool!

Also, you remember in the last post I was not buying any more wool? Doing great there.

The joys of giving up

For reasons I don't entirely understand and despite my questionable past, they have promoted me at work. It is very exciting. I carefully highlight actions in green on the project plan when we have done them and I chair meetings and look at people beadily.

Also, I have bought a suit. In fact, I have a tip for you, and it is the following. For years I have worn carefully co-ordinated and accessorised outfits to work where I have taken into account this season's trends, my body shape etc. Well, what a waste of time that was. You can buy office wear on ebay for 99p + postage and then you just get up every morning and think, hmm, shall I wear my grey suit or my navy suit and you have more room to think about other things, like, shall I buy a pecan and maple plait on my way to work, why, certainly. So in one sense I have given up, but in another sense it is easier. And as in dressing, so in craft.

Tea, crochet, computer. Dan rang up then and Partner passed me the phone saying to him 'it's alright Dan, she's not busy. She's just sitting staring at things'. I'm crocheting! I'm drinking tea! I'm blogging! I'm looking for hat patterns for Dan for Christmas! Partner does not see these things

I have thought about the things I like knitting/ crocheting. I like crocheting mad blankets, I like knitting lace, and I like knitting colourwork. Other things - not so much, however much I may feel I ought to be the kind of person who creates jumpers so alluring they are essentially Woolly Sex. So this is what I am doing.

And do you know what? I'm never going to iron that duvet. It's enough that I wash it occasionally. Every two months, regular as clockwork whether it needs it or not. (I jest)

And I like boring squares patchwork where no-one engages with paper piecing and it is a nice mish mash of patterns. I like it, so I do it. I have given up on self-improvement and looking through Kaffe Fassett books to find complex patterns and then failing to complete them.

I love this candlestick. The fabric for the back of the cushion is from Ray Stitch in Islington. Last time I was in I sent a small ceramic dish of buttons flying and they were very nice about it.

And I like that candlestick even though it is too wide for a spell candle and cost more money than you would think. I like it, so I keep it. I am simplifying. It is nice. All I have to do now is never buy any more wool or fabric and use the wool and fabric I have got. How hard can that be? Wait...