And she aches just like a woman. But she breaks just like Martha Stewart with a paypal account

I have finally dug out and finished my Anna Maria Horner Evening Empire Dress. I will try and get pics for next week. Even though it has been hanging about for probably actually a year it only took a couple of hours to finish, isn’t that always the way? I went into Emergency Craft Lets Just Get The Bloody Thing Finished mode so I have not lined it and the zip isn’t inserted into the bodice lining properly, but. It is for me. Who will see? It will be fine. And look what I unearthed when I was tidying out my bookshelves, shoved quietly at the back and all unloved.

When O When will they have tops with strange protuberances in Primark?

Pattern Magic! Now, I have to say, I think Pattern Magic is probably better for someone who understands how to make a fitted bodice toile, but, I am getting there and who knows, this time next year I may be churning out tops like these.

And as a bonus you get to see my scruffy cuticles

I love this book. It shows you shapes based on a fitted bodice, but hugely, hugely innovative: nothing that you are ever going to see in Burda (much though we love Burda, obviously). There’s nothing I like more than a good unwearable pattern. Fancy shoving it to the back of the shelf. When I was doing a particular job a couple of years ago, I took my mind off the daily re-enactment of the less self-aware bits of the Jeremy Kyle show by buying craft supplies. Obviously I cannot recommend dealing with employment issues through spending money, it is a Very Bad Idea which may end in terrible debt or forced participation in Hoarders, you never know: but, on the other hand, not only do I no longer have to do that job, but I also have a great stack of fabric! Result! And sometimes I turn up gems like this that I had squirrelled away. Well done, Stressed Unhappy Susie: you had excellent taste in books. This is the exciting thing, though. Pattern Magic is now available…in translation.

Yes! In translation! My copy is in Japanese, and while I agree that if you know what you are doing the pictures are enough to go on, I do not entirely know what I am doing (it really is quite hard, I say in my defence) and I would like to be able to read the text as well. I think it would be particularly helpful if the text said something like, ‘Although this looks scary, don’t panic. Put the book down. Breathe deeply. Go and make a cup of tea. Have a nice digestive. There. Does it look a bit better? Good. Now get out your French curve and go and draft a fitted bodice from scratch. Jump to it!’.

Ridicule is nothing to be scared of

Readers, I could not help myself. I have bought Pattern Magic 2 in English. I will show you the things in it when it arrives. And when I manage to actually make some of the things within, I am sure my loved ones will be very polite about my creations and will say, Gosh, is that hugely directional garment Junya Watanabe couture? Rather than, What the hell are you wearing? Honestly, Susie, I wish you would go to Marks and Spencer like a proper person.

And I am expecting them to be polite when I wear the Evening Empire Dress as well ;-).