I struck the board and cried, we must have a giveaway

OK, don't say I never do anything for you (joke), because, I have a giveaway! And it's not only the gift of not boring you with what I think about the whole News International scandal (I think it was all orchestrated by a furious Vince Cable. Partner says if Vince Cable had that much cunning we might have noticed it in other contexts, I say he's cutting his teeth on this and next he's going to bring down David Cameron and make the World Cup be in England or something. Anyway I'm not boring you with this). Nor is it the gift of not telling you about how my overlocker hates me (but if anyone living in East Anglia wants to call round and kick it for me then you're very welcome and I'll give you a cup of tea and a biscuit. For those of you in Chatteris, do feel free to bring the shared donkey, we'll tether him to the fence. Vivianne you are very bad).

Image from The Spellcasting Picture Book

You can read here where I did an interview with Diana from Magickal Realism, who makes beautiful and unusual perfumes, and also wrote the Spellcasting Picture Book, of which I bought the first edition.

I don't know how often Mercury goes retrograde but this happens to me most Mondays

Now, I am going to say this carefully and at the risk of alienating everyone, but: with regards to paganism, hedgewitchery and everything, I have read a great many books, and I have to say to you that in this respect the devil does not have all the best tunes. No. Indeed I sometimes think that a prerequisite for being interested in modern paganism is the complete inability to write good poetry. I have read some things and thought, we have a centuries-long tradition of fine devotional verse and here is this author wibbling on about lovely lovely trees or whatever in a line which does not scan and ends with a rhyme worthy of McGonagall, how is this honouring the Goddess because I imagine she is cringing and opening a bottle of Merlot (on the astral plane) just like I am. Anyway I only say this to you because Diana's spell book is NOT LIKE THAT, it is very different, I think it is excellent and punchy and with spells which feel like they have power. If you like spell books, have a passing interest in modern paganism, or the power of words, or just want to have a look, then I have one PDF copy of the new, expanded, revised edition to give away! If you leave me a comment at the end of this post saying you want to be in the giveaway I will enter you in the draw, as it were, and get the computer to pick a number at the end of next week (24th July?) after which I will email the book to the winner (so could you make sure you leave a link to your blog or your email or give me some way to contact you). If you can't wait, though, here's how you can get hold of the book – it's available on Kindle and Nook (I don't know what Nook is but I presume if you've got one/ it, then you do ;-) ).

Grounding. More difficult than it looks

Also on this subject, my mother is thinking of getting a Kindle, which will be a technological leap on the level of the moon landings. If anyone has any thoughts as to whether my mother is likely to like having a Kindle or not, could you share them, as if she spends money on it and then decides the money might better have been spent on a handbag we will never hear the end of it. And, do check back tomorrow as I have an interview with Niccy from Scrapunzel Pixie, and she is a woman who I suspect can thread her overlocker without having to get Pat from the shop to do it, so I shall be looking and learning ;-). À demain.

Just wanted to say quickly

That Amy from Knitter of Hats Speaks is doing a valentine's day card swap on her blog, which is a fab idea - if you want to go and sign up (I have, har har), here is the post, you have until 14th Jan.

Also, Resa from Discovering Asterisms blogged about the card she received from Sarah, go look, and I for one am very happy you have remembered how to internet, Resa, yay indeed.

And Moomin Mamma, just wanted to say to you that my Aunty Kath received your card safely and thought it was lovely, and I would have got a photo only I was a bit distracted during my Festive Visit (you can imagine. Waves to family. Hi!).

And one more thing - as you know, I am decluttering (misery misery oh woe is me). I am decluttering cookbooks and have some vegan cook zines (only about 3) that I would like to go to a good home. One of them is a bit mad and please ignore what it says about vitamin B12, but the other two are really useful (I am just not vegan any more, and I need the space, although I am retaining my trusty copy of Vegan With A Vengeance). If anyone would like them, just leave me a comment below - free to the first person who asks. I am painting the bathroom at the moment so I might not be able to post until next week, but I promise not to forget ;-).

Sleep well!

The Homemade Christmas Card Swap sign-up post!

ETA, Sign ups now closed! Thanks to everyone for taking part x.

OK, people. Let’s do it. Let’s have a Homemade Christmas/ Yule Card Swap.

People send me cards. I squirrel away the shiny ones

 (This isn’t only to encourage me to get off my behind and make my own cards this year, I promise, but, you know, that will be a happy side-effect. We can encourage each other! I can post links/ ideas that don’t involve buying something very peculiar I saw late the other night on QVC which melts powder to emboss cards, and which burnt the woman who was demonstrating it quite seriously!).

You’ll be sending one homemade card out to one other person, and receiving a card from someone else. (ETA, I meant a card with a greeting in it, not a blank one for someone to reuse). My definition of homemade is quite loose: whatever floats your boat, from a hand-embroidered Yule-themed art postcard to a bit of glitter stuck on a card from Primark. Basically if you’ve had a hand in making/ altering it and you like it, then we’d love to have it in the swap. (It strikes me that we all celebrate different things these holidays – Christmas, Yule etc – I think rather than tailoring cards so that they cover everything let’s just send a December Greeting in the way we would normally do it, and take the ones we receive as a greeting as they were intended, i.e. I’ll happily receive Winterval, Yule, Kwanzaa cards or whatever anyone wants to send me. But let me know if you feel strongly another way).

Anyway, here’s the serious bit. These are the Roolz:

• To sign up, leave me a comment below, saying that you’re in. Then email me your postal address (to uselessbeautydesigns [at] gmail.com), and also tell me your commenting name (so I can cross-reference), where you’re willing to send a card to (because it’s just a card, it should be cheap to send it anywhere in the world, but if for some reason you’re restricted by location, no problem, just let me know, and I’ll match you up accordingly).

• I’ll leave this post up until 5th November to try and guilt as many people as possible into signing up so people have enough chance to see it (no pressure ;-) ). Then I’ll email everyone who’s taking part over the weekend following, and let you know who to send your card to (who you send to will be different to who sends to you – that way it will be a surprise!).

• Send your card out by 10th December (that gives us 5 weeks to get something together), and let me know when you’ve sent it by dropping me an email so I can keep tabs on where we are.

• If anyone doesn’t receive a card due to their sender forgetting, having a personal crisis possibly involving the installation of a new bathroom, or the postal service exploding, I will send you a card to replace it. So it’s a risk-free swap!

• It would be lovely if you would blog about what you receive (or send me a pic and tell me to blog about it), because I’d love to see what people get! I’ll link to all posts.

And, as a special bonus, because I have been frantically making lavender bags this weekend for my craft fair, using a sack of lavender I got from Long Barn (highly recommended – it smells amazing):

Lavender! In a sack! Smelling delicious!

I’ll draw a winner (using the random number generator) from one of the comments on this post after I close comments next Friday, and I’ll send them a couple of the lavender bags as a bonus prize. These aren’t wimpy little lavender bags that hardly smell of lavender, I want you to know:

Obviously I will trim the threads before I send them to you. Obviously

They are hardcore. The entire house is lavender-scented. They are knocking me sideways. You will like them, I promise.

OK, I think that’s everything. I hope it makes sense – if not let me know and I’ll make something up clarify ;-). Happy swapping, people. (Excited. Hope someone signs up. Eeek!).

Giveaway Results! +++ My New Plan.

OK - I've done my random number generator, and it has chosen…. Dragon Knits as recipient of my bag. Dragon Knits (says she solemnly), You Are The Chosen One, and I will be emailing you to ask for your address. I hope you like it! Thanks ever so much everyone for entering and for all your lovely comments, it's nice to see local shops and markets are alive and strong all over the world. I've chosen Patricia as the lucky ( ;-) ) recipient of my extra surprise, because she came in under the wire there and amused me with her Dr Dolittle comment while I was waiting for the man to come and fit the new washer-dryer (don't ask. On the one hand at least I have a reliable washer again, and on the other it's too big and I can't open the cutlery drawer. Partner is walking about with an invisible sign over his head that says 'You Did Not Measure And Now I Do Not Trust You To Organise The New Fireplace.'). Patricia, I shall be sending you my new solid fragrance which is a rather sexy blend of frangipani and lime and other things, but I will check about allergies when I message you to ask for your address, because I don't want Anaphylaxis to result from a Giveaway. That would go entirely against the spirit of the thing. Well thank you again, everyone, I enjoyed that and I will certainly do it again! I do hope my winners enjoy their stuff.

And now to my other plan. As you know, I think the path to happiness lies in making as much as you can yourself, and what you can't make, buying from somewhere independent. I say this because (without sounding too naff), as soon as I began to create things myself, even mad woolly garter stitch squares, it changed me; I felt more involved with the production process, and then I began to question all sorts of things I wasn't questioning before. So for me, the creative process was more than an interesting journey; it was transformative. And, no doubt it is for others! So, tomorrow (and no pressure, first interviewee ;-) ), I'm starting a series of interviews on Fridays. I'm going to talk to a range of people – people who are creating things, people who are fighting back against mass production with their independent shops, people whose work I admire and people I want you to know about. I think I might learn things. (Indeed I've learned something already because I had to google to understand my first interviewee's answers. I've also learned that I 'seem to think I'm John Humphries.' I can assure you I do not.)

OK. Back down to earth and off to see if I can do anything to the cutlery drawer with a hacksaw. (Here's some unsolicited life advice: never live in a house that needs fixing up if you are no good at organising house improvements and you live with a Medieval Latinist. One of you needs to be practical).

My first Giveaway!

I keep wanting to do a giveaway and then I think, what if no-one wants it. Well, this is silly and I have decided I am going to grit my teeth through the potential embarrassment of no-one wanting my item aaaaaaaaaaand…do my first giveaway!

Because after the pants trauma I thought I’d do some straight seams for a bit, I’ve been sewing shopping bags. And I’d like to give one away to someone. Might that someone be you, perchance? ;-) They’re the kind of shopping bag you take with you and put in your pocket in case you end up ambling round the market or similar, buying Stuff (so they would be useful if you wanted to Shop Local, not banging my drum or anything.) They’re light and foldable, and unlined/ no fastening (and made from good substantial cotton/ all exposed edges serged.) I’ve been using some of the bolder fabrics from my stash – I love both of these equally, so I’m going to give you a choice! These bags are both in the region of 11.5" by 14" (the African Wax Print one is slightly bigger), and they’re both machine washable. The winner can choose either:

A retro flower-print shopper – this is made from a vintage (poss. seventies) cotton from Finland, and has medium and dark blue flowers on a green background,

An African Wax Print shopper. I bought loads and loads of this fabric from a shop just off Brick Lane to sew on when I was first starting (or, starting to sew seriously), and so it has particular sentimental value for me (sigh). They both have my exciting new label on one side, and the other side is blank.

Also I was listening to YMCA and other classics of that ilk when I was sewing these bags, and I was also doing the dance (no really, I was), so I imagine that will have charged them both up with quite a lot of positive energy ;-).

To enter my giveaway:

Since this is my first one, let’s keep it simple. To enter, just leave me a comment below – that’s all! Tell me which one of these bags you’d like if you win, and tell me something about your favourite local market/ shop and why you like it. Make sure you leave a link to your website or somewhere where I can contact you if you’re the lucky winner. I’ll choose the winner through a random number generator a week from now – 7pm Thursday 12th August, and I might try and produce a tiny separate bonus surprise for the person who leaves my favourite comment (although I don’t know what it might be yet, so it could be a bit random!). I don’t mind where you’re from, I’ll post anywhere.

(Hooray! That wasn’t too painful. Perhaps I’ll even do it again in the future. I won’t get ahead of myself, though. I'll wait to see if anyone enters first.)