Just while I'm on a roll

I'll show you my scarf/ wrap thing I finished recently, too:

If you ignore the manky drainpipe on the left and look at the red thing, that is the rose round my kitchen window

It's Echo Beach by Kieran Foley.

I thought it was a great, inventive pattern and the end result is very effective: but gosh was it boring to knit. In my ongoing quest to achieve Zen, which I have to say to you I am not sure is succeeding (especially after the time at yoga where they made me meditate for half an hour holding someone's hand and I thought I might punch someone), I am trying to be a process knitter and not a product one as I am trying to Be In The Moment. Finishing this thing was the wrong time, however, to decide to Be In The Moment, as it is made of Noro Sekku, which, as I have indicated before, is a yarn spun by the Devil and all his little Minions in the Fiery Pits of Hell. So I cannot pretend to you that this thing made me a process knitter. It did not. I may even have thought at one point, hmm, you can buy wraps on the market...

I consulted with Partner about whether I should bind off early or continue to suffer and he said, cast that thing off. So I did, so it is a bit short but fine, and I am sticking to Blue Faced Leicester laceweight for the moment and knitting something by Boo Knits which is a lot more fun. Indeed, it is so much fun that when I have finished it I am giving it to Christine at work and she is going to auction it in a way I do not entirely understand and the money will go to the Teenage Cancer Trust. And if it only makes 50p I shall obviously be furious and then I shall go and start threads on Ravelry called things like, My Knitting Has Been Undervalued!

Sekku. I swore at every stitch

Anyway. Echo Beach by Kieran Foley (2 dropped-stitch version) and I do love his patterns - a modern reinterpretation of lace - so I am sure I will be taking up the yoke again at some point.

(Completely ridiculous that we get the first hot day for 4 years and I spend it sitting inside crocheting and blogging and drinking tea. Anyway. At least I am able to do it in a vest!)

Taking stock of life and deciding to knit something (and sew something as well)

You remember I had a thing I was miserable about? Over it. No, really. It isn’t over (it will never be over!!!) but do you know, you get to a point where you think, we’ve laughed, we’ve hugged, we’ve cried, we’ve had catharsis, we’ve had lager, I’ve texted apologies for the texts I sent when I’d had the lager, we’re done. So there we are, the Situation is ongoing and I shall update briefly when I am in front of the House of Lords in ten years’ time or as soon as we make the Telegraph, but, I am not miserable any more.

I strongly suspect you of photographing me and thus I shall fix you with a disapproving glare

Partner is happy, as Partner spent a large part of the early months of this year standing over me like a Victorian patriarch in a melodrama, beard blowing in the draft from our inadequate central heating, shouting ‘this is not worth a single tear of yours! You have done nothing wrong! Get up NOW and get a solicitor!’ as I huddled sobbing under the duvet.

I have some actual serious advice for anyone reading this who is at the huddling sobbing under the duvet no-one-can-ever-help-me stage, so listen up briefly and then I shall show you the knitting: ring the Samaritans. It helps. I do not know how it helps, as what happens is you cry and they are sympathetic in an appropriate way, but it does. And you can sometimes get legal advice and help (right up to the providing-a-barrister stage) for free under your house and possibly car insurance, but, check the terms. I tell you these things because you may not have Partner with flowing beard standing over you in a crisis, so I have distilled there the essence of what you must do. Remember.

I just sometimes wonder what people are going to do with it when I sell them spray paint

Anyway, so here I am and I look around me and I think, gosh, I did not think I would get this far but now I have I should probably do something, perhaps I should start by sewing up some of this fabric, I don’t know.

I don't iron it before I cut it, no

I have no clue how I even acquired some of this fabric. Some of it had John Lewis labels on so I suppose that solves part of the mystery but when did I buy it? The only thing I can think of is that in times of distress I must dissassociate mentally and trot off and buy fat quarters. If you are in Cambridge and you see me ambling off towards CallyCo or John Lewis with an empty bag and a vacant expression come up to me, wave your hand in front of my eyes and say, Susie! Credit Card Bill! Stop It! And hopefully that will stop the ridiculous fabric pile from becoming any bigger. Make sure I don’t just turn round and wander off towards wool, though. Anyway, I am making an Amy Butler Gum Drop Pillow with these and I am particularly looking forward to stuffing it with bean bag beans, if anyone knows a way of doing this where I will not end up with them sticking to my entire body with static like last time let me know.

I am doing it without stitchmarkers. Scary

This is the Shawl Of Guilt, I feel bad about this. I started a knitalong with this shawl which is a very beautiful pattern from Chrissy of Stitched Together and I kind of dropped out because I had no mental capacity for knitting. Anyway, I could not forget the pattern, and I wanted the shawl, so I have started it again and I am on the last chart, somehow my mental capacity came back. Lace scares me a bit: sometimes it will not Get Knit however hard you try, sometimes it almost knits itself, it makes me think of the Fates and their thread. Anyway, this time I am hopeful. I think it will be pretty when it is done.

I keep having to buy new needles because I keep sitting on them

And a boring rainbow sock. I am Using Up Stuff, and this wool is part of the Stuff I am Using Up. I say I am Using Up Stuff: I am going to make a small exception, as I am going to buy some new wool to knit something for Dan. I am going to knit something, and in return Dan is going to do an open mic night with me. Yes, I think I will soon be ready: I can force my way through Where Did You Sleep Last Night, I have my post feminist deconstructed backing for Jolene and I have written new lyrics. Dan’s end of the bargain will involve him dealing with my inevitable hyperventilation and downing of Stella just as we are about to go on, and suppressing his winces every time I miss the change to B7: mine just involves possibily a bit of colourwork. I shall look for a suitable pattern.

I went on a trapeze at the weekend. I was really, really scared. I shall probably try it again, though.

In which I discover I am Not Quite The Thing

So, had to share this one with you, especially after my previous post. As you know, I’m experimenting with different crafts/ arts and seeing where it takes me, and I was at my art class earlier (next week we’re doing reflections and I’ve got to take a reflective object. If anyone can think of anything interesting that I can get in my bag and which will save me taking in a spoon, I’m all ears).

(Middle one mine) - this is an appropriate pursuit for the middle classes (although I suspect mine was a bit bright)

I was chatting to a couple of other women in the class at break time. Now. Cambridge, as a place, is in many many ways very lovely: I meet lots of really nice, interesting people, there’s always lots to do, and it’s somehow a place that’s very open to new experiences and new ideas. And then, very occasionally, I meet people who are snobs *cough* Partner's ex-girlfriend *cough*. It doesn’t happen very often, but it does happen sometimes that it is made very clear to me that I am Not Quite The Thing. Since I am by now fairly sure that whatever The Thing is I am probably having more fun not being it, it just makes me laugh a bit but yes, had one this morning, whoosh.

Knitting this would not be an appropriate pursuit for the middle classes. I might just as well start watching The Only Way Is Essex, wait, oops

So, we were chatting about how long we had been painting, and I said, cheerfully, that I had only just started, but that I did some other creative stuff and it was quite a different experience; to which they said, what, and I started off on my litany of all the mad things I do. ‘I knit…’ And readers, I got no further. One of the women said ‘Knit?’ in a tone just like Lady Bracknell and the handbag (really, she did), and looked at me just as if I had marched in and announced a liking for polyamory and then mooned at her. ‘That’s right’ I said, cheerfully, because I am quite hard, also if anyone ever tries to outsnob me I have the killer blow: because, I can always say ‘and my partner is a medieval latinist of international repute’ and that is the kind of thing that works in Cambridge. ‘I knit’.

The woman visibly quailed, because clearly this is not something you should mention in the hallowed presence of Oils. I warmed to my subject, because, I do not take offence at people unless they actually insult me deliberately, as sometimes people are just a bit gauche. I didn’t have long to wait, though. ‘Yes’ I said, with a smile. ‘I knit very intricate lace designs [look. People. Allow me some poetic license, also, never put yourself down in front of people who are waiting to do it for you] and fairisle. It’s very interesting and creative’. ‘Well’ the woman said with a small horrified laugh. ‘Knitting is not something I would ever do’. ‘Really?’ I said, politely. ‘Normally people tell me about the lovely things their grandmothers used to knit’ (they do normally tell me that). ‘Well’ she said, as if I'd actually dissed her family. ‘Knitting isn’t something I or anyone I know would ever do’. ‘What a shame’ I said, politely. ‘Because knitting is so incredibly fashionable these days’ at which another woman backed me up that actually everyone these days was knitting. ‘Well’ the first woman said. ‘I don’t know about that. I wouldn’t care about… [tinkling laugh] fashion. I shall go and continue with my painting’.

O the silkiness of Natural Dye Studio Precious! But, this would be anathema to the Serious Artist. Having this yarn is worse than watching TOWIE. It is actually as bad as getting Vajazzled. It is directly morally equivalent

Readers, I am polluting that class with my shallow knowledge of craft (and fashion), and all I can say is, it is a good job I did not announce my intention of tie-dyeing a quilt panel this Friday, because, it may well have knocked that woman out, and who wants the moral dilemma of whether or not to have a go at CPR in a draughty church hall? I’m afraid I am going to continue with my class, though, because it’s a lovely atmosphere (no, it is), and the teacher’s great.

But, next week, I may be wearing my Jaali.

Nice Knitalong you may wish to do

Just quickly popping in to point you in the direction of Chrissy at Stitched Together's beautiful shawl which she designed. Chrissy is hosting a knitalong for this shawl on Ravelry, and if you take part in the knitalong you get a pound off the shawl pattern (details in the linked post).

Obviously I'm not doing enough things generally (HA!) so I shall be taking part, and I'm rather excited. I've even bought some expensive (for me) yarn (and here's a hint: it isn't Noro). My paypal account squeaked in protest, but my hands have stopped shaking now so it's OK, and I may show it to you when it arrives. If you're looking at this and thinking, no, that is too complicated for me, I have seen the pattern and it looks perfectly doable, so, if you've done any lace at all you should be absolutely fine (or if you haven't, but, you're adventurous and dogged, you should be fine too). The only slight difficulty is that unless you use a cobweb weight yarn, you will probably have to buy two skeins of laceweight, but, you will definitely have enough left from the second skein to make a whole other shawl (perhaps it is just me that worries about these things?) - anyway, if you are wanting to knit a very pretty semi-circular shawl this may be the time to do it. KAL begins on 5th March, so get googling for laceweight and limbering up.

When the things you make have more exciting lives than you do

Happy Monday! (Says she, brightly). Before I go out to try to start the *^%^%^& car and swear impotently, because, as you will have intuited, my life is non-stop glamour, just wanted to say a big thank you to AC Engineered Knits for showing my rainbow bag that she bought on her blog. It’s a funny feeling (in a good way) to see your things popping up in other places. You feel like saying, hey you rainbow bag, what are you doing over there with your new horizons. Anyway, thank you AC, I am delighted. Also wanted to show you my skirt I made from recycled tshirts:

Not naff. What could you sew, Partner? Nothing

Partner has just wandered past this and called it ‘wonderfully naff’. Partner has no proper comprehension of the Recycled Garment Revolution. I made it from tshirts I got from local charity shops and it’s constructed with kind of a-line panels and godets (I made the pattern, that’s why I sound a bit vague. I never know what you’re supposed to call things). I’m thinking the same shape in different weights of fabric might look interesting. I’m even wondering about felted wool. I shall have to go back and have another look in the hens’ teeth section.

Always use stitch markers. That's my advice. If only there were Stitch Markers For Life

And this is my shawl I am (still) making (arsenic and old lace). You can’t see anything: all you’re going to be able to see until I finish it is slightly bigger white lumps on a needle. I’m up to the teeth of the skull, and, because I Just Don’t Like long rows it’s a bit of a challenge (only psychologically), but I shall definitely finish it (says she, grimly). One thing I will say: if you’re thinking of doing a circular shawl but you’re worried they’re too difficult (I mean, you might also be worried you haven’t got a million hours of your life to spend on one but let’s pretend that’s not a problem), this is an excellent one to start with. I haven’t found any errors in the pattern so far, it’s well explained and intuitive (just pay attention to the bit about moving stitchmarkers – that’s the only place I really cocked it up so far).

This is the chin and teeth of the skull. I can't understand how I can be a person who enjoys something as fiddly as knitting lace. I am having to readjust my self-image

Circular shawls aren’t difficult, but the bit on double pointed needles at the beginning is a bit of a faff, because nupps on dpns and yarnovers inbetween needles is fiddly (if you’re a diehard magic looper it might all be much better for you: just start off on a 100cm needle perhaps and gradually your stitches will fill it? I don’t know). Anyway, I press on, and I’ve worked out that if I do a couple of rows a day I’ll have it done in a month. So everyone give a shout on 13th March and hopefully I should be able to proudly display a giant impractical shawl with skulls on. Skulls on! I’m going through my second adolescence.

(Hopefully it’s better than the first one, though. One word: Bros. In fact, two words: Bros. Acne).

On shawls, shoes, and (Marks and) Spencer

OK. So someone pissed me off sufficiently the other day that I got 2 charts of my shawl done and one and a half repeats of a third, and I am motoring on.

You can't see much, it's all scrunched up. It is a shawl though

I mean, I’m not sure it’s a sustainable situation, because, what will I do next time that person pisses me off? Knit a bigger shawl? Start a lacy car cover? On the bright side, I am now in a position to tell you that this shawl is nowhere near as hard as it looks, although the central bit on double pointed needles is a bit of a challenge and I had to unravel it once. But I was propelled forward by the force of, Grrrrr. So that is my advice to you, dear readers, if someone in real life ever pisses you off too, make lemons into lemonade and sublimate your anger by knitting something large and complicated, preferably with skulls on. Because not only can you then be smug in the knowledge that the person who has annoyed you would not be able to do the same in a month of Sundays, but also you can imagine jabbing them with your needles. Knitting: keeping people sane and not bitter since 1463 (or thereabouts).

I have a thrilling new job, go me, where I have to dress in black, so I have been looking for black shoes. Because, at the moment I am wearing some very cool ankle boots for work which are covered in silver studs, but I am worried I am following the letter not the spirit of the dress code (I am so crap at dress codes. All my instincts are off). I don’t wear black normally and I don’t have many shoes (I have been wearing either Birkenstocks or Uggs for two and a half years, you can do this when you are self-employed) and let me tell you, going into Marks and Spencer to attempt to buy some was a bit of a shock. Now, I am not going to diss Marks and Spencer because I actually think it is ok, and also my mother will ring me up and tell me off, but I am going to say this. You know how Marks and Spencer do that special range where it is all polyester and blouses, and looks like the clothes they wore on Ever Decreasing Circles? Well, for some reason, the Marks and Spencer in Cambridge has got rid of all its stock to concentrate on that range, apart from some Jeggings which they have placed carefully in a corner. Polyester pleated skirts! (Not like the ones that sold out in Jigsaw!). And those extra-wide fitting black shoes which lace up and make you look as if you have bunions even when you don’t! Which look as if they’re expecting to be worn with American Tan tights! Where has the Limited Collection gone, hey hey, Cambridge Marks and Spencer? That is what I would like to know. Have we in Cambridge been judged and found wanting in a sartorial fashion? And if so, why is this, because I would like you to know that I myself have read Vogue at least within the last 6 months and know all about colourblocking.

Anyway because of this shock I failed categorically to buy shoes from a shop (I know there are other shops), although I have ordered some online which may or may not fit, so I will have to wear my dodgy studs for a little while longer. Luckily I managed to get some skin tight black trousers quite cheaply, so now it will look like a deliberate aesthetic choice, albeit not really an appropriate one. Does the dress code say, inspired by Ozzy Ozbourne albeit a few pounds heavier and with odd bits of leftover wool attached? I think until my new shoes arrive we may have to pretend that it does.

Shiva's Shawl

This week, I am thinking about destruction, transformation, letting go, Shiva, the Tower card in tarot, that kind of thing. And I can't concentrate on knitting any of the sensible, useful things I've got on the go, because I want to knit this, which really does tie in quite well. So, I've bought the pattern and now I'm off to wind the wool.

Hold my jacket, readers. I'm going in.

Frankenknits

I'm not going to suggest to you that I think this is pretty.

Actually I do think this bit is quite pretty, it's the rest of it that's questionable

But it is the first Finished Thing (TM) of 2012, so I'm putting it on here. I seem to find myself, readers, with a bit of a stash of yarn that has built up, mostly leftovers from projects, stuff that was misconceived, that kind of thing. And I hate having leftover yarn hanging about in bags! Hate it! So, in an occasional series of Frankenknits, I shall try and use it up over this year in useful objects. Because, this shawl may look bright and mad to you now

OK, yeah, but, imagine this: hot night with a breeze, outside an expensive restaurant, white vest top, tasteful gold jewellery, silk palazzos. Better? And now I've got the shawl, I just need the rest of it

But I think it will be useful in summer for sitting outside (in fact, if you remember my post on how to wear shawls, I am envisaging this shawl in the first of these scenarios). In any case, it is more useful as a shawl than it was in the partial skeins of Kureyon Sock and sock and mitten that didn't quite work and which I have unravelled. And there is enough left to go in a pair of Frankenknit socks at a later date. Go Frankenknits! Where normal aesthetic rules do not apply and Thrift is our watchword! Like the turkey leftovers of knitting!

(Pattern is the Holden Shawlette - it's free, and very easy, good if you want a first lace project and also simple enough that it won't look too mad with variegated yarn - I did a couple (2) more repeats of the lace pattern, and I think this is a decent size shawl).

OK, off to pick up the dustbins. It's windy! Is it windy where you are?

Well, I don't know how this happened

But apparently now I can knit lace. (Pattern: Jaali, here on Ravelry and also here on Etsy. This has no errors as far as I could tell, and also it is both written and charted so if you want to knit one too it should be a fairly smooth ride).

I've had those towels for 20 years. Thrift, it is my middle name. Or it would be if I hadn't realised with HORROR over the weekend just how much wool is in this house

Again with the dodgy blocking shot in bad light on the old towels and the green carpet. If I'm going to actually manage to finish knitting things I will have to work out how to photograph them properly. Lace! Mad! Where will it end? Will I lose all sense of proportion and start knitting one of those enormous round shawl things with a million stitches? I could use it as a Partner Cozy and put it over him when he is moaning, to see if it shuts him up like it does when you put a sheet over a parrot in a cage.

Blocked my Annis

This is one of those posts that's more interesting for me than for you, lovely readers, sorry! I blocked my Annis - managed to not felt it, not drop it down the plughole (I'm going to hold off on the rant about how much I hate our new plughole), not drop a stitch as I bound off, etc etc and now it is done! And when it is dry I can wear it!

OK, are you going to say to me that you don't save your oldest towels for blocking?

I do appreciate this would look more attractive with better light. Try to imagine

Ha ha! First proper lace, first nupps {brushes fingers on lapel}. The lace world is now my oyster and I shall celebrate with Cake.