Thursday, 2 December 2010

I have gone to the bad

Oh gosh an exhausting day. Partner has decided to clear his office out, even though it is so cold it is completely unparalleled and I am expecting to see polar bears wandering along Kings Parade very soon, nibbling tourists. So we had to drive to the tip with 5 small boxes of rubbish so we could put them in the skip. However, we were thrown out of the tip unceremoniously by quite a rude man from the council who said our boxes were ‘commercial waste’, because one of the papers on the top had a college crest on, which let me tell you they were not. Despite my protestations we were sent to the ‘commercial waste disposal depot’ where we waited in a queue with enormous articulated lorries carrying lorry-loads of rubbish. I began to feel this was perhaps not entirely the place for us and our five small boxes, as the proximity of the lorries made our Punto look quite small and ridiculous, and when we were told it would cost us £100 to throw away our papers I began to feel it even more strongly, so we drove to another tip in absolutely the middle of nowhere down a fen, put our rubbish carefully and neatly in the skip, and drove away very quickly like Bonnie and Clyde while a man with a huge beard and a flourescent jacket watched us thoughtfully. And throughout this entire thing, Partner criticised the hat I was wearing. When I was having to be a getaway driver! So I have now crossed the line into criminality and who knows where it will end, today putting commercial waste (it was not commercial waste!) in a skip, soon perhaps armed robbery and a life on the run thumbing my nose at the law and responsible citizens. Who knows!

Partner is shredding the rest of his rubbish. I think that will work much better.

11 comments:

Denise said...

That is quite a funny story. I'm amused at the many ways you find to say how cold you are. I do wish I could send some of my sun your way.

Do you not have garbage pick up there?

Susie said...

Denise, I wish you could send me some sun, too ;-).

We do have bin men. But (this is long and boring, I warn you, I'm sorry!), we only get the bins emptied once a fortnight (rubbish once a fortnight, recycling once a fortnight, alternate weeks!) and we had slightly too much for one bin, which had just been emptied, so we would have had a full bin for a fortnight. However that was my emergency plan if my Bonnie & Clyde thing hadn't worked.

The best plan is to empty your office out more often than once every ten years, though. That is the best plan of all.

Moomin Mamma said...

It is possibly the late hour, the couple of glasses of cider I have drunk or the fact that I am actually starting to panic that none of the items I have ordered online will arrive in time for Yule (OK, it will, but I'm a stress head!) but I am sitting here with tears of laughter streaming down my face, you have such a brilliant way with words! What fantastic imagery!
And tell Partner, Bonnie Parker wore a crazy little hat so you should be allowed to as well ;)

Susie said...

Waves to Moomin Mama. I will tell him about the hat and to be quiet about it! ;-) Your things will arrive, don't worry. I am sending vibes. Brrrrrr Brrrrrrr (those are vibes).

Wool Free and Lovin' Knit said...

This is the reason people's houses are so full of clutter. They make it so darn hard to get rid of it. He might have a point about the hat though -- it's rather elfish!

West/CJ said...

That's hilarious- and ridiculous. It should not be that hard to dispose of garbage. Also, partner should not disparage your hat. To be fair, I didn't look at the hat, but since you're standing out there, freezing your, errr, hat off, risking polar bears because he wanted to clean out his office- well, he should have kept quiet about the hat.

Marushka C. said...

I don't enjoy the cleaning out process, but the feeling of righteousness you get after the cleaning out is done? That's truly wonderful.

Cleaning it out and getting a funny blog post out of it? That's just priceless.

Susie said...

Partner was supposed to go back to the office today to finish cleaning and shredding. He has not gone yet. I think he might have been traumatised ;-).

The hat is a tiny bit pointy, I've got to say, but dammit I knitted it, I'm going to wear it!

Denise said...

Ugh! One bin to last a fortnight. We would just die over here. Especially in the summer when it's baking at 120F or 48C.

Susie said...

48C! I can't even imagine :-O. We haven't had too many problems, although Partner says he once saw a 'big ginger rat' sitting on our bin who had come to visit. We have never seen him since though so hopefully he was just passing through, or, more likely, Partner had not got his glasses on and he was a big ginger cat instead.

Anonymous said...

Awww, the hat isn't nearly extreme enough to warrant comment. More pointy! With bobbles! And stars: THEN he can complain. Maybe.