Saturday, 7 January 2012

When I am rich...

I will not need truffles, champagne, luxury leather goods or adoring acolytes drinking sloe gin from my stilettoes. All I will ask for is the joy of never having to put together a flat pack anything ever again.

Because our house is very small and has a lot of books and mad knitted/ crocheted/ quilted items, to keep things under control I have decorating rules (no, honestly, I do). So we have: white walls throughout, beige curtains throughout, and Sculptural White Light Fittings throughout. The other advantage of all these things is that they are cheap, i.e. there is a limit to how much you can pay on a beige curtain even if you are getting it from somewhere posh (I am not). Anyway I bought a Sculptural White Light Fitting by these people at a vastly reduced price on Amazon and it nearly broke me.
Not quite a bud, more of a hot mess
I thought I would have to box it up and send it back to Amazon with a note saying, I am returning this because I am just not clever enough to put it together. I thought I had served my apprenticeship with the ones I put together from Ikea but clearly this was not sufficient. Please in future add the minimum intellectual baseline one would need to meet in order to assemble this item to your listing, as I think this is vital information and would prevent Fury, the chewing of white plastic, and swearing at loved ones.
No, that is what it's supposed to look like, I checked
Anyway I got there eventually. I think it looks ok. I'm not sure how secure it is up there, but we'll be fine unless I have to change the bulb before I've recovered emotionally. That might make me a bit grumpy.

Also an NB: Tink at Master of A Thousand Things is having a giveaway to celebrate her blogiversary - you might want to go and have a look - it's a skein of yarn from Candy Skein, and it's open for another week or so (go Tink! And congrats on your blogiversary!).

7 comments:

Magpie Mimi said...

I think you should send a note like that to the company anyway! I nearly had a breakdown with an Ikea lampshade so can sympathize!

Tink Edwards said...

Aaaw thanks for the shout out.

That lampshade is crazy! I don't think I'd have got it together. Bookshelves I can do, but that looks like you'd need a degree in physics or something to get it right!

kristieinbc said...

Oh my gosh, you are hilarious! I choked on my tea when I read the bit about having served your apprenticeship through IKEA construction. The lampshade is great!

barbara l. hale said...

I sympathize with you having to put that together but it is very cool!

Anonymous said...

I can't follow diagrams either. My daughter had to put her own kinder egg surprises together as they were certainly beyond me. I like words to tell me what to do. Just tell me and I will do it!

AC said...

It was worth the effort--it's neat!

Susie said...

I quite like it now it's up. We have got Ikea Knappa lights in the main room and I thought they were bad enough because the little knobs kept popping out but no this was worse. Anonymous, I need words too, I can't do a thing from diagrams and youtube videos are wasted on me. I might as well sit looking at cats jumping in boxes for half an hour and then go and watch Judge Judy for all the good it does.