Return of the mac

Well, people, I gave up blogging and now I am blogging again. My IT issues got the better of me – nothing was compatible with my computer any more and it was all just exhausting blah blah blah first world problem. Anyway it turned out there is a solution, which is, to ring up the Apple store and just try not to cry so loudly at the point where you have to give your credit card number that they can’t hear it to put the payment through. So now I have this huge flashy monstrous thing and it is not the same as the old computer blah blah blah first world problem again to which I was emotionally attached, even though it did not actually work any more. Anyway it is all fine, because I have Apple Technical Support and I am going to ring them tomorrow and say, I cannot understand Chrome and why won’t it scroll and what the hell is this thing where if you catch the mouse at the wrong angle everything wiggles and I cannot find the hard drive. I am not a person who likes technical things. This is only Partner’s and my third computer ever, and the first was a Mac Classic. So I am gritting my teeth through the inexplicable wiggling and calling of things ‘launchpad’ – why so? Have Apple mistaken me for Sheldon? Because at least I can load up blogger now and that is an improvement. And now we will be able to watch videos of cats on the internet without going off and making a cup of tea in the middle while it thinks about its buffering. I’ll be fine soon. It’s just taking some getting used to (seriously I know I shouldn’t moan about having a spanking new Apple),

Anyway, any quick developments since you saw me last. Ooh actually here’s one I would have told you if I’d had IT: I’m still Poling, and I’m in the UK Amateur Pole Performer heats in Hertford this July. No, seriously, you read that correctly. Just in case you are now sucking your teeth and thinking oh no this will end badly, it is ok: I am only competing at Beginner level where I spin and do not go upside down, but honestly I do think that is enough of a challenge. I am trying to work towards the splits for my routine, but I am still a way off yet and also something terrible happened to my right hamstring in Pigeon pose yesterday so I don’t know. I have to have a costume of at least hotpants and a crop top, so we are provisionally working on the idea of sequined hotpants and a fuckload of makeup and I am secretly having thoughts about peacock feathers. Any suggestions, don’t be shy: I am going to use this as the music for my routine. I think it will work well (imagine me body rolling to ‘et puis, je fuuuuuuuume’).

You remember I bleached my hair? I’ve just gone pillarbox red with a tiny hint of new romantic in the cut – it looks very cool I think.

That hand's actually attached to me and my face isn't blue! The shelf is quite untidy though. And you see those pictures? I DID THEM

I am too old: I don’t care. I did check at work that there was no dress code: I could see in their eyes that the honest answer to that was, we haven’t needed one until we acquired you how did this happen,

This is entirely and utterly the fault of Vivianne from Kismet’s Companion, who put the thought into my innocent and credulous head many moons ago and who I imagine must feel horribly guilty: I may have attended a burlesque lesson in London. I may be attending a fan dancing lesson in a week or so. I may be considering doing a course of burlesque lessons later on this year. Hmm. Burlesque. It was kind of sort of one of those things that you do and it is like, **mind blown** – I may do a blog post about this one and the Feminist Implications thereof (oh yes!!!) – yes I think I shall,

I’m still doing physical theatre. I signed up for another term. I’m still vegetarian. I’m not going to say anything about Horse Burgers. I’m still with Partner. I’m still distressingly pursued by our feline brethren (mrrrrrooooowwwww!!!). I gave up taking photos because I couldn’t share them and now I shall start again. I can do a headstand now but only against a pole and in a low-ceilinged room (I don’t know why) so Cirque Du Soleil haven’t been in touch quite yet. There, people, that’s me for you. Hello again!

And am I still knitting with all this going on, you may ask? Mais oui, although I have to say I’m not finishing much: but I’ve got a few things on the go I’d like to show you. I’m charging the camera up now for future use. God! It’s like having proper technology again!