Monday, 14 June 2010

An extremely radical knitting decision

I'm suffering from knitting constipation (yes, I did just make that term up. It's an attractive image, isn't it?) I can't finish anything because I don't really want any of the things I'm making, apart from a pair of socks which is buried in my knitting bag under everything else. I'm haunted by unfinished things that can apparently never be dealt with or finished adequately. I'm particularly haunted by things like this:

What on earth is this, you ask. It's a knitted cupcake. Yes, not only did I at one point think that I would be able to find a good use for a knitted cupcake, but I also managed to ignore gauge and common sense to produce one whose base is bigger than its top. It isn't a cupcake, it’s a deformed mushroom. It haunts me. What shall I do? Shall I just throw it out, walk away and not think things like 'well that's 20 yards of Rowan All Seasons Cotton gone to waste?' And what about this?

It's the Poster Boy bag from Stitch 'n Bitch Nation. Now, I love this pattern, and I want to be able to do stranded colour work. I want that beyond all things. So I knit it, and I discovered I’m not good at knitting stranded colour work with two hands. It looks crap. In fact, I'm not sure I've conveyed properly in the above photograph quite how crap it is. The face is all stretched and long. Look at a close up of the stitches:

And my stitches are normally very even. This is because all the strands are pulled tight across the back. What do I do with this? Unravel it? Use it and cringe? But if I use it I'll have to knit a handle and line it, and that'll be a lot of work, just to end up with something crap. Oh, I wish it would just evaporate into another dimension and take the confusion and guilt with it. I haven't even started on the half-done Ugly Blanket yet. I don't have a clue what to do about that. I don't even feel strong enough to tell you about it.

Anyway, I've decided to sell all my current stash on ebay and I'm starting again. I know this is radical. I know some people may read this and hyperventilate. But I am getting rid of it all and from now on I'm only going to knit things I will use. There will be no knitted cupcakes. There may be a dalek, but I think that's something every home should have.

I've made a couple of bags – this is one of them. I decided the world didn't quite have enough rainbow patchwork in it yet. So I finally have some things to list in the shop tomorrow. Partner has been enlisted to help take photos so I can model them. Partner is not known for his skills as a photographer and I am one of the least photogenic people you will ever meet (I have this tortured expression as soon as anyone points a camera at me, unless I’m paralytic) so I'm not sure how hopeful I am that this is going to be an aesthetic success; but I'm sure it will be an interesting process...


lalheg said...

Just get paralytic then and all will be fine!

West/CJ said...

If you've found a way to knit a dalek, I'd love to know. We could get one of those voice recorders to hide inside, and when you squeeze it, it could say "exterminate! exterminate!" :)

Susie said...

OK, starting on the gin. Where's that camera? (joke)

is the dalek for me. But there will be no exterminating, he will be a special friendly people-loving dalek (yes I know that's a bit wet, I am a bit scared of the Dr Who monsters actually :-))